The fact that we are forced to interact with narcissists is not a choice we make; instead, it is the result of a string of terrible events. In this scenario, we must figure out how to deal with him.

     Every single one of us has a narcissist in our life, that one person who just can’t seem to see farther than the end of their own nose. Narcissists have the propensity to maintain tight control over the surroundings in which they live, in contrast to the majority of us, who can learn from the world around us and discover ways to cope with its highs and lows. They point the finger at others for everything that is beyond their control.

     Working with narcissists is a challenging experience since they have a wide variety of tactics at their disposal that they might use to smear others. Even if you have a valid point to offer and a workable solution to the problem, the narcissist will still try to bring you down and make you look like the bad guy. It may be simple to imagine letting go of the individual and going on with one’s life, but doing so is frequently challenging in actual practice.

     It is a fact that we can be required to put up with narcissists. Thus, it is imperative that we become skilled in dealing with them. In this essay, I want to discuss how to neutralize a narcissist’s power and influence. Learning how to diffuse a situation with a narcissist might make dealing with them a little more manageable. 

The following are some helpful hints that will guide you through the process.

1. Do not give in to the want to bring yourself down to the same level as the narcissist when it arises. 

     But it’s not because they’re brilliant at debating that narcissists like a good fight; it’s because they know how to get you worked up in the first place. Inadvertently encouraging the narcissist to launch an assault on you when you feel the impulse to verbally defend yourself is exactly what they want to see. The narcissist needs you to fight back because you are the one who will be the one to lose control if you retaliate against them. You are the one in the wrong. I take it that he is referring to you when he uses his linguistic judo chops.
     How are you going to get around it? Remain calm. You should educate yourself on emotional intelligence if you are new to the concept. It is essential that you keep your emotions in check if you want to be successful in disarming your narcissist. The narcissist, on the other hand, will not!

2. Do not nourish the ego.

     There are signs posted around the zoo that advise visitors not to feed the wild animals. It is important to keep in mind that narcissists, despite the fact that they appear to be harmless, pose the same level of risk as the animals in the cage. Don’t let the sense of security that a fence offers you trick you into thinking you’re safe. Because supplying him with praise helps him retain his ego dominance, you shouldn’t feed the narcissist as much as you feed the zoo animals. Instead, limit the amount of food you provide the narcissist.
     Because he has a healthy regard for himself, lavishing him with praise will only strengthen his confidence in himself. Instead of focusing on the compliments you give to him, he will concentrate on how much better he is than you. If you don’t feed the bear, he won’t have the strength to attack you since he won’t have any food in his system.

3. Even if he is fuming mad at you, you shouldn’t take the blame for his rage. 

     He will try to make you the target of his bad feelings in an effort to absolve himself of guilt by shifting the blame onto you. It will eat you up from the inside out if, without realizing it, you volunteer to bear his feelings in order to make him feel better. It will do this by eating away at your self-worth. If you continue to allow him to wear the same jeans, he will eventually get over his wrath.

4. In no relationship should you ever use an ultimatum to get what you want. 

     Because they are a method of control, abusers frequently resort to the use of ultimatums in their interactions with their victims. It’s possible that you’ve become just as toxic as he is if you don’t approve of whatever he does or if you feel the need to use it in order to take control. Even if the coin does not fall in his favor, the actions and words you have taken give him the instant license to behave in the same manner toward you.

5. Don’t give him negative attention.

     You shouldn’t go out of your way to show the narcissist any attention, and you shouldn’t even try. Narcissists take pleasure in obtaining attention of any kind, whether favorable or unfavorable. Because it is a fundamental component of their maladaptive way of thinking, giving them negative attention is essential to keeping your attention. If you give them unfavorable attention, they will use it as a weapon against you in the future. It is a pattern of behavior that is employed with the intention of lashing out and assaulting you. If you are the one who is closest to the narcissist, you will be the most dependable and constant target for them to lash out at since they demand negative attention in order to act out. Because no one else would put up with such…nonsense? The narcissist will make every effort to keep you around because of this reason.

     A narcissist will seldom accept responsibility for his or her own feelings but would demand you to do so for your own. Your narcissist has spent a lot of time figuring out how to get under your skin and what makes you tick, as well as how to push your buttons and convince you to continue in the relationship with them. 

6. Taking command of your feelings is the first and most important step in neutralizing a narcissist. 

     You will have an easier time dealing with a narcissist if you are able to keep your emotions under control, which is not as easy as it may sound. Consider your level of emotional intelligence and think about the ways in which you may exert more self-control. Maintaining emotional control is the most important factor in successfully dealing with a narcissist.

     When interacting with a narcissist, it might be challenging to keep control of your emotions, but it is possible to do so. Narcissists tend to be very self-absorbed. Consider your emotional intelligence for a moment, and think about the ways in which you may apply it to help you maintain self-control. 

     As soon as you are able to keep yourself under control, a significant portion of his defenses will have been eliminated, and you will have abandoned him to his own devices, which he will know the least about.

Frequently Asked Questions About Disarming A Narcissist:

Are narcissists skilled at spotting your flaws?

     No matter how hard you try to meet their expectations, narcissists are adept at identifying flaws in you and demeaning you. Narcissists discover flaws in you to demonstrate that they are superior to everyone else and the salt of the earth. They employ this approach to maintain influence over you and compel you to perform their bidding.

Do narcissists intentionally provoke conflict with their partners?

     Narcissists intentionally instigate conflicts with their spouses so they can accuse them of being out of control and terrible. Narcissists have an extraordinary capacity to manipulate and blame others for their own mistakes.

How to respond when a narcissist attempts to provoke you?

     When a narcissist is attempting to provoke a quarrel with you, the first rule of dealing with him is to learn not to respond. When you manage your emotions and refuse to fall for his scheme to bring you down to his level, you deprive a narcissist of his most effective weapon—making you feel guilty for initiating a battle he so wants to have with you.

Will complimenting a narcissist soothe him?

     Feeding a narcissist’s ego with compliments can never be beneficial since he views it as permission to continue assaulting his spouse. Praise bolsters his grandiose belief and provides him with an excuse to take advantage of others.

How to deal with the unpleasant feelings of a narcissist?

     Narcissists are particularly poor at managing their unpleasant emotions and excel at attributing them to others. In the eyes of a narcissist, you are responsible for his unpleasant emotions. Don’t attempt to comfort him; let him cope with his feelings on his own.

How can a narcissist be managed?

     The desire to exert control over a narcissist is indicative of narcissistic need. If you feel compelled to exert control over a narcissist, you may have succumbed to his poison. Attempting to defeat a narcissist at his own game is also a mistake you should avoid.

What is the most effective way to deal with narcissists?

     The most effective method for dealing with a narcissist is to avoid lowering yourself to his level. To do the task, you must maintain composure and regulate your emotions.